thoughts

its memorial day and i really and truly proud to be an army wife... with all those who have fallen i thank them for their greatest sacrifice...

so now that i got that out what the post was really suppose to be about...

this deployment has been very rough with an email almost every week about a causality or injury its makes trying to communicate extremely difficult... so not being able to talk makes me wonder if we can survive this deployment or how we will survive special forces training... thankfully i have finally about to tell the hubby so he knows and he says he understands... he is trying we have talked the past few days and he told me whats going on and why he hasnt called much... which the knowing totally stresses me out... i really want him safe and home :(

i just pray everyday nothing happens to him cause i dont know what i will do... i know i shouldnt think about that but with him on patrol alot, one of his guys getting hurt, and just all the other bad things happening to is company/unit as a whole... just so ready for this year to hurry up and be over!

honestly i keep wondering how will we make our life work if i am completely unsure about being an army wife! this deployment is so not making it very easy! i could not see myself with anyone else and i hope he feels the same way, i think he does... i just dont know why i am so needy this deployment! i wasnt even like this last deployment when i was pregnant this is just not me i am usually so much better and stronger :(

well gonna go cry i think maybe go to bed early this cold is still kicking my ass... write more later