i just dont know anymore for some reason this deployment i am so much needer!! i dont know if it is more cause of where he is or our daughter?!?! definately greatful i moved home not having to worry about bullshit drama with fake worthless horrible people!! i just am not use to the fact i have no clue what is happening with the hubby :( our first deployment i knew everything and heard from he every other day and talked online alot... our second i was pregnant and he called or we messaged when we could but i new if it was quick relief, mission, or guard duty maybe not all the details but i knew alittle more... this third one i know nothing! i sometimes get some info from him but its not much just that he is safe... honestly i stress every time the phone rings or if i miss a call... never mind lack of sleep or just the email after email i send him in hopes i get a response... he says internet is sucky and i believe him its just it seems everyone else gets to skype or im with their soldier... ugh just wish i had the same ladies as the first deployment they made life so much easier! it was so a family wonder if it will ever happen again, the same support? same closenes?? yes i still keep in contact with all of them and they r there as much as they can it just sucks sometimes to be surrounded by people who need a kick in the head, family members (of soldiers) postig shit that so they shouldnt... ugh
well i just hope we make it thru this and in one piece cause i feel like i am going crazy and not being as supportive as there is
please god keep him safe i love him so much and dont think i can do this without him or do i want to :(
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