ugh

so a girl who i talk with periodically, our hubbies r in the same unit, but r not at the same place for this deployment (i dont know or trust completely what she says or he says they both love drama and r not always honest)... well anyways supposely where her husband is they lost 2 guys and 1 wounded on sunday then monday lost 2 more but she was still able to talk to him online?!?! really seriously cant be true... so that stressed me a little and of course i emailed the hubs right away but still no response!

ugh didnt get to hear from the hubs on easter but got to hear from him yesterday, he is still tired and i guess they have started missions (stress level has risen)! i guess they r sleeping in bunkers but building rooms so hopefully soon with in the next few months he will get a room and get internet so we can skype... he asked me if i wanted him to get a cell but i said i would rather skype and him call every once in awhile since skype is free and can go to my phone at first!!

trying to get his first box together but it is hard cause he hasnt told me what he wants...

so another friend is pregnant! ya seriously this sucks i lose my baby and everyone and their mom ends up pregnant :( i know i shouldnt be so hard on myself but i feel like crap even more... so maybe over r&r we can get pregnant again and i would just fly pregnant to welcome him home rather then fly with two kids! then he might be here for a good amount of the pregnancy and for the birth... so we will see... i am happy for all my friends who r pregnant but at the same time i wonder what is wrong with me why cant i be pregnant :( i hope it was just a fluck and we can have 3 more so 4 total, even if he means i have twins i am ok with that!

well my monkey is napping and waiting to see if i will get a call today but its not looking like it as long as he is safe right? really missing him