so we are almost half way thru this deployment!! so excited and so ready for our next adventure or more so my own place!!!
not that i am not loving sharing a room with a two year old and all the bills we wont have after this deployment, i still am so ready for my own space...
not having my own space i feel like i have become a bad mommy :( i know you should never compare kids or paenting skills/actions with others but lately i look at my friends and see some major differenced! i have one friend who is basically june cleaver of the 21st centery! i know if i really tried harder and maybe was so stressed with a deployment i could actually get to where she is at! then i have another friend who does none of the mothering things (so she says) like change a diaper, clean, ect! crazy i know but i guess her hubby is OCD so he does it all!! i have realized lately my temper is short and my stress is high and i really have no one who understands what i am going thru! all my old friends (high school) are either still single and living like they are 20 and sometimes are annoyed i dont (sorry i like being there/feel the need to put my daughter to bed and be home when she wakes up!) then theres the friends that are married or in a serious relationship and want to do couple things and then try to invite me like i really wanna be third wheel! (then i am a bad unsupportive friend)! my other group of friends i met during college and they are some awesome people but they were my bar friends, liek literally we would always be drinking! i honestly dont drink like i use to and yes sometimes a drink is nice but not the hammered sleep in next day (cause i dont get to sleep in)! yes a few are married and starting their families but dont really understand my life style... that is the problem with most of my friends, they dont understand how i can deal with the hubby being gone (which seriously is the most annoying comment i have ever heard!) i know they dont say it to be mean and try but comparing being single and my situation is so not even close i dont have the choice to have my husband here if i want and being single sometimes is a choice!
i stopped talking to one friend who was suppose to be my best friend since he decided a relationship was way more important then friendship! even though he said it would never be that way guess i should never set up friends cause it will bite me in the ass in the end!
then theres the military wives... some are very nice, some are just very immature, some seem like they are just friends cause our spouses are together and lately that seems what i run into alot... so i have kinda just started spending alot of time by myself...
it sucks i would love things to be normal but my life will never be normal! i a married to the military, friends come and go and sometimes they will be the ones that just like convient friends or friends that can mae them feel better about themselves :(
anyways back to the title we are almost at r&r and i cant wait! we may go see his family for a few days, definitely going to vegas (my sister is gonna watch our daughter) and then just chill and relax as a family!! then he will go back :( but it will only be for a short time then this deployment will eb over and we will start our new life in Bragg!! which i am so ready for!!
ok well sick monkey and lunch time :(
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