so monkey and i went on a mini roadtrip to see everyone i havent seen and that wanted to met her!
well our first stop (much needed get away) was a fellow army wife in Michigan... it was ok, some drama in her family but i guess everyone has their issues, just now i know why she is the way she is... monkey had a playmate and they enjoyed playing together for the most part... then it was off to the mother in laws! which was fun... her other granddaughter was there (step daughter;s daughter) and we did a photoshoot and now i some cute prof pics of my princess!! poor monkey got sick! but all was pretty good... met more of my mil's side, all very nice! then we saw my hubbys aunt judy... now she is a trip and decided to let me know she was mad at me for leaving the funeral of her mother (hubbys great grandmother) but we fought and i was just so mentally and emotionally drained... she also told me she loves me cause my hubby does, kinda felt like someone punched me but atleast she is honest... well the only bad thing was my daughters godfather was suppose to come see her (he still hasnt met her!) so his first excuse was he didnt wanna drive 2 hrs ok i guess i understand he does work alot... well then i said how about we met for dinner half way... he said ya that works and had it all planned out with my brother in law and sister in law... well sil got a job so she didnt know what her schedule would be (understandable) bil sucks at answering his phone but he did make the 2 hr drive earlier in the week and said he felt bad... 6pm the god father texts sorry just got out (didnt mention he decided to work overtime again) and was too tired to do dinner... so i basically was upset and hurt and told the hubby i am done trying, honestly what did i expect he lives with the hubbys dad and we hate each other! oh and my debt card numbers got stolen but USAA was awesome and stopped the charges and even sent me a new card! (to where i was not even to my address)
anyways after that drove to virginia and flew to florida... had a great time visiting my friend michele and her beautiful daughter! we had a great time and i got to met her babys daddy who seemed to step up after my visit (i think he was upset i babysat his daughter instead of his mom)...
after leaving florida i went back to virginia and saw a few friends in fairfax and virginia beach! definitely a great visit there... bon fires, drinks, just hanging out, plenty of girl time!! it was nice except for a high school friend i set up with a friend from virginia... she decided to show up on tues instead of thurs when we were kidding around about it... well basically my friend in virginia i didnt get to see except for him picking me up at the airport! so basically i havent talked to either one of them and kinda dont plan on it! yes i know its childish but i wanted to be able to spend time with my friends with no relationship crap involved... guess its a mistake i have to live with... i also had drinks with my ex and we fixed alot of things and he even told me that he did want to marry but didnt want me to expect it... he is happy i am happy and doesnt want to wreck it or ever hurt me like he did! crazy wha 6 years does to people!!
ok with this roadtrip i did alot of driving so i had alot of thinking i could do... so wish i didnt... basically it was what if i never called carissa the morning i went in labor and just did it myself? what if i never moved? what if i didnt get a job? maybe my hubby would have never question being married to me? maybe i wouldnt have lost the second baby? maybe not letting people that pretended like we were friends in our house would have been the best...
so basically i would have had my daughter alone but then no one would have been in my house and no one would have tried to make my daughter theres and decide who could hold her! if we moved into the orginally house they offered us maybe i would not have worked and maybe even if we still didnt take the house but when i moved on post i just didnt have them move me... yes i wouldnt have had my baby furniture or couches but we could have found something else... maybe not working then i would have had a happier husband... obviously way too much thinking... i love my husband and wish things were different but i had to move home and it was the best idea... i should have put our stuff in storage in hawaii and not so stubborn and wanted what i did home... guess i may be moving back to hawaii for a few months until the hubby gets orders just gotta fnd a place :(
well i guess that sums up my past month... hubby finally got internet in his room which is nice cause we can talk longer with no creepers!!
well time to end this long entry hope i didnt bore too many! almost 1/2 thru this deployment!
No comments:
Post a Comment